I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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