i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
