So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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