there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
