how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
