508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
