there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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