i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.