Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
