Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
