remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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