omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
