So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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