doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
