I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
