he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
