You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
