I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
