We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
