put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
