I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
