R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
