Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
