We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
