Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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