Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
