LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
