I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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