ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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