I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
