He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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