my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
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I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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