A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
