i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
