he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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