i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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