I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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