If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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