Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
