And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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