What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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