I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here