My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
