I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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