Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
