Only a mothe r could love this liver
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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