Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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