and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
