i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
