Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
