Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
