it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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