mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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