Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
