forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize