And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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