absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
