Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
