Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
