Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
