Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
