we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
