Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
