spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
