Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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