just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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